Paul Jonas has nine grandchildren – most of whom have already had their bar or bat mitzvah, But, until now, he had never had the opportunity to celebrate his own.
Born in 1945 in Alton, Hampshire, where his family had been evacuated during the war, Jonas remembers having a “chaotic” and “difficult” childhood with “no Jewish content at all”.
“My first recollection of going into a synagogue was when my sister got married,” he says.
When his father died in 1959, Paul moved to live with his sister and brother-in-law, who started to introduce him to more Jewish life, and he attended his first Seder.
Later, when a friend took him to a local Zionist youth club, he discovered he was good at Israeli dancing.
There, he met his wife, Jeanette. “We were in a dance group, and that’s where my Judaism started,” he says.
After the couple were married, they joined a Progressive synagogue in Southgate and brought up three children.
Fully involved with Jewish life, Paul became chair of the synagogue. He was also on the finance committee of the Board of Deputies.
One day, Paul thought: “I’ve done all these things in the Jewish world, and I’ve made everybody else do [their bar mitzvah]. Isn’t it about time for me? I never had the opportunity – my life was so chaotic at that time. But isn’t it time I addressed that problem?”
He casually asked one of the rabbis at their shul about having a bar mitzvah later in life, and with his wife and daughter’s encouragement, the preparations began. This coming Shabbat, he will be called to the Torah at Alyth Synagogue in Golders Green.
“I was starting off from a very basic, poor Hebrew knowledge,” says Paul. “They’ve been trying to encourage me to learn the tunes and they showed me how to sing and incant it, but I’m afraid it is going to be a plain read.
“I see a wonderful rabbi, who’s been patient and encouraging, and she said: ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be with you all the way.’” Given his late bar mitzvah, Paul is reading a particularly appropriate parashah about Moses reminding the Israelites that they have to observe Pesach even if they have forgotten or neglected it.
“I’m reading about Moshe telling the Israelites: ‘Hey, you’ve forgotten to do something the first time; we’ve got to keep on remembering to do it.’
“Even if you forget to do something, you must carry on and do it [the next time]. I found it very apt.”
Having his bar mitzvah is also important to Paul “as a matter of identification – to belong to a group of people at the present time, when antisemitism is very rife.”
And there will, of course, be Israeli dancing at the party, which will also celebrate the couple both turning 80 this year.
“I have learnt an awful lot about my Judaism, where I’m going and why I’m doing it,” says Paul. “It’s something very personal to me. I’ve done all the Jewish life-cycle events, weddings, brits, bar mitzvot… and dancing has been in both Jeanette and my life all of the time. But this bar mitzvah has been about more than just dancing. It’s been about understanding where I am as a person and what I’ve achieved at 80 years of age. It’s a life-cycle event I have to do to complete the circle.”
